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    1. 您好,欢迎来到国学教育网! 登陆 | 免费注册
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      ?今日:2019年 10月 08日 星期二 农历: 己亥年九月初十
      古代出门拜亲访友不轻松:脱袜入室坐席坐姿讲究
      发布日期:2017-06-07  点击数:932

      在古代,出门拜亲访友并不是一件轻松的事。 

      穿衣梳妆停当,终于可以去拜会朋友了,这是真正考验普通人个人风度的时候。 

      别急,登门之前准备好礼物先。这倒不费什么脑筋,《周礼》早就规定好了见什么样的人带什么样的礼,“以禽作六挚,以等诸臣。孤(帝王)执皮帛,卿执羔,大夫执鴈,士执雉,庶人执鹜,工商执鸡。” 

      终于提着礼物来到主人家门口了。不过,如果你是初次登门,很有可能会吃闭门羹——别慌,主人不是要赶你走,正相反,这是在表达恭敬,类似于“哎呀,怎么好意思让您亲自屈驾光临寒舍呢,您还是请回吧,下次我去拜访您”。这时候你要做的就是站在门口一再恳请,直到主人接收到你的诚意迎出大门,宾主互行拜礼,然后主人三揖从右边入门,你从左边进去,在庭中递上礼物,再经过“哎呀哎呀太客气了拿回去吧”和“那怎么行你就收下吧”的三个来回,主人终于接过礼物,让你进屋了。 

      进了屋也不能轻松。首先,进门请脱鞋,别踩脏了一会儿的坐席。古代家庭室内往往满铺筵席,脱鞋甚至脱袜入室就成了最基本的礼节,否则便是对主人不敬。 

      君子坐席也有许多讲究,比如效仿孟母教子的“席不正不坐”(《论语·乡党》),是指席子的四边要与墙壁平行——她该不会是个强迫症患者吧?此外,《礼记》还规定“父子不同席”“男女不同席”“有丧者专席而坐”。 

      坐的姿势也不能随随便便,两膝着地、脚背朝下、臀部落在脚踵上,这是一般姿势,跟老友谈天说地无妨;若要向对方表示尊敬,就得抬起臀部,挺直上身,摆出“跽”的恭敬姿态。好不容易坐定,又突然来了一位尊者,还要让席以表谦卑——唉,做个客真累啊。 

      要是主人留你吃饭喝酒,更累。互相礼让了好一番,座次终于安排好了,开始敬酒。这简直是一场拉锯战:主人先敬宾客,宾客还敬主人,主人再敬宾客;然后主人敬介宾(就是宾客请来的宾客),介宾还敬主人;最后主人向众宾敬酒。 

      而且,每一轮敬酒之前,主人都要当着众宾的面进行“盥洗”,洗手、洗杯具。这在后来更像是一项重要的敬酒礼仪,但在先秦时代,却主要是为了实用功能。尽管当时已经有了筷子,但它还没有成为日常用餐的工具,只有当从汤中夹菜时才使用,其他情况下则统统直接“动手”,因此,与别人一起吃饭前不洗手也是失礼的行为。 

      不过,真正风雅的聚会可不只是觥筹交错,就如同真正的谦谦君子可不只是守着这些繁文缛节。连西门庆都雇用了一位文人温葵轩,在宴饮时陪宾客行酒令、附庸风雅,文人雅士则更需内外兼修。 

      上一篇: 浅谈饮茶礼仪
      来源:南京日报    责任编辑:知远
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