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    1. 您好,欢迎来到国学教育网! 登陆 | 免费注册
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      ?今日:2019年 10月 08日 星期二 农历: 己亥年九月初十
      孩子自私怎么办?
      发布日期:2017-06-02  点击数:872

      我们现在明白了教育的目的和方向到底是什么了吗?

      我们最终教育的目的和方向不是知识,不是技能,而是唤醒生命的终极关怀!大家觉得对吗?

      什么是生命的终极关怀?

      那就是:德者本也,行善人,做善事,讲善语......

      有时候我在想:以后我的孩子如果没法参加高考也没关系,但是一定要爱上经典,爱上读书,放不下书,这就是教育的最低底限,大家觉得对吗?

      是的,有德此有人,所以我们好好读经典,坚持读经典,读,读,读,读入心,读懂,读到背,读到能够自己悟,好吗?

      教育的本质就是:读经典唤醒自己的生命,唤醒自己的觉知,唤醒自我教育,其次就是教育孩子!

      请大家记住:不要把眼光放在孩子身上,一定要放在自己身上!

      而现在有时候我们对待孩子的教育弄反了,孩子在家庭中的地位反而更高了。

      由于我们的过度疼爱,好玩的、好吃的均由孩子一人享用。久而久之,我们的教育宠爱、教育意识的偏差造成孩子幼小的心灵中产生一种“以自我为中心”的意识,认为一切都是我的。

      现在的孩子大多都是独生子女,在家里,没有兄长伴他玩耍,没有弟妹要他照顾,好吃的食物,我们尽着他,图书,玩具,也是他个人所有。

      而长期下来,孩子形成了什么样的性格呢?

      对,自私!

      其实自私是孩子偏常人格中的不成熟行为。自私的孩子过分关心自己,只注意自己的欢乐和幸福,很少考虑他人,一切以满足自己为主。

      久而久之,孩子仍固执己见,不能接受公正、正确的意见。

      而我们一味让孩子的这种自私自利的思维方式发展下去,孩子将来在社会上是不受欢迎的,即使孩子的智商再高、能力再大,也是难以施展的。大家说对吧?

      好,那我们先从一个案例讲起:

      于拥军在家里是独生子,深受我们、爷爷奶奶的疼爱。从小时候起,家里所有的人都会不约而同地把好吃的、好玩的留给于拥军,于拥军逐渐地变得很“独”。

      曾经有一次,爸爸下班晚了,实在太饿了,进家坐下后,顺手拿起于拥军的饼干就吃起来了。这些饼干已经买回来好久了,于拥军根本不喜欢吃。

      然而,于拥军看到后不愿意了,让爸爸把饼干还给他,甚至伸手要到爸爸嘴里去抢。

      尽管妈妈一再表示第二天一定给他买来更多的饼干,但还是不能说服于拥军,他不仅哭闹,而且还躺在地上打滚,不依不饶。最后,还是爸爸说带他去吃麦当劳,才阻止了于拥军的哭闹。

      我们家有这样的孩子吗?

      另外,于拥军对于他的玩具更是丝毫不让别人碰,邻居家的小朋友金玲来玩耍。看见于拥军的电动火车非常好玩,便忍不住用手去摸摸,并且对于拥军说:“你的火车好神气呀!”

      可是于拥军却很小气地将电动火车藏起来了,并且对金玲说:“这个是我爸爸买来让我玩的,你回家让你爸爸给你买呀!”

      好了,案例讲完了,大家怎么看待这个案例?

      那我们如何更好的引导孩子去增多“利他行为”呢?去“分享”呢?

      1、不要经常给孩子吃独食

      很多时候,作为父母的我们喜欢把好吃的好玩的全让给孩子,孩子偶尔想让我们分享,我们在感动之余却常说:“我们不吃,你自己吃吧。”

      大家经常有干过这种事情吗?

      反正我家先生经常对女儿如此说。

      可是长此下去就强化了孩子的独享意识,他们理所当然地把好吃的、好玩的据为已有。

      在这里可以给大家说一个方法,这个是我以前教育我家女儿的简单有效的方法。

      每次孩子吃任何东西,可以说:“给妈妈吃一口”。

      然后我们吃的时候,吃一大口。

      久而久之,孩子也习惯了第一口给父母吃,然后自己在吃。也养成了“或饮食,或坐走,长者先,幼者后”。明白了吗?

      2、引导孩子树立正确的物质观念

      让孩子养成热爱劳动的好习惯,可以给他分配一些力所能及的事情做,不要什么事情都大包大揽。

      让孩子从劳动中找寻快乐,体会我们的艰辛。我们可以在做家务活的时候,让孩子与自己一起干活,比如扫扫地、擦擦桌椅、倒倒垃圾等。

      我们要知道:生了孩子,育了孩子,不用孩子,就是在浪费孩子!大家说对吗?

      在吃东西的时候,要培养孩子为别人着想的习惯,有好东西一定要与别人分享。可把东西分为几份,一份给妈妈,一份给爸爸,如果家中还有其他长辈,也要想到。一定要力行好“长者先,幼者后”。

      3、不给孩子“特殊”待遇

      我们要尽量避免给孩子特殊待遇,不能无条件地满足孩子的需求,而要让他知道自己与别人是一样的,没有任何不同的地方。

      现在我们给我们孩子特殊,以后谁给孩子特殊呢?

      现在我们不给孩子特殊,以后孩子会给别人特殊,这也是孩子的大爱!

      一旦孩子提出不合理的要求,做我们的要坚决给与拒绝,不可心软,语言柔和,态度坚决,一定要记住如此做!

      如有朋友来家做客,要让孩子学会如何招待客人,吃东西时,不要只顾自己,把好吃的都据为己有,对别的东西又挑挑拣拣。

      许多小朋友在一起玩耍时,要教孩子将自己的玩具拿出来与别人同享,不要只想玩别人的,却不愿拿出自己的。

      4、让孩子懂得和他人分享

      分享体现了自己对别人的关心与帮助,自己与别人分享了,别人也会回报自己同样的关心与帮助,这样彼此关心、爱护、体贴,大家都会觉得温暖和快乐。

      分享,分享,不分出去,怎么能享有别人的东西呢?

      好好教育我们自己,好好做好身教来影响咱们的孩子,期望我们的育儿问题都越来越少

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