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      ?今日:2019年 10月 11日 星期五 农历: 己亥年九月十三
      谦卑和礼貌是孩子最好的通行证
      发布日期:2017-05-27  点击数:1095

      崔浩成绩很好,年年稳居班级第一,亲戚、邻居、老师都经常夸奖他,这让他有点飘飘然。

      有一天,崔浩和妈妈聊天时说:“我们班同学有问题都来问我,他们说我跟老师的水平都差不多了。”

      妈妈问:“那你觉得呢?”崔浩自豪地说:“我觉得也差不多。”

      妈妈笑着说:“既然你水平这么高,那你知道‘一瓶子不响’的下句是什么吗?”

      崔浩挠着头想了一会儿:“我不知道。”妈妈拍拍他的肩膀说:“是‘半瓶子晃荡’啊!好好想想吧!”

      说完就起身忙自己的事情了,留下崔浩在那里发呆。

          所谓“一瓶子不响,半瓶子晃荡”,就是形容真正有本领、有知识的人往往更内敛、谦卑,而那些掌握了一点知识、本领的人却常常到处炫耀,以为自己无所不知、无所不能。

      孩子在学习的过程中,会经历一个从“无知”到“有知”的过程,随者知识的增长,很容易骄傲起来。尤其是兴趣爱好广泛的孩子,他们往往什么都知道一点,所以就更容易飘起来。

      “谦受益,满招损”。要让孩子学会谦卑,很多人都容易将它与“自卑”混同,认为谦卑就是让孩子否认自己的知识、能力,在别人面前表现得卑微、低下。

      其实,谦卑是一种平和的心态、宽阔的胸怀。谦卑的人不会刻意地表现自已的优越感,也不会去伤害别人,会用平常心看待他人,知道每一个人都有优点和缺点,然后扬长避短。

          谦卑与自信、进取也不矛盾。因为谦卑的人知道人外有人、天外有天,知道向更多的人学习,谦卑能促使人更加奋发、进取。

          谦卑是一种低调做人的心态,是一种奋发进取的精神,所以,如果孩子懂得谦卑,那无疑是掌握了人生最好的“通行证”。

      如何让孩子懂得谦卑呢?我们可以给孩子讲一些关于谦卑的哲理故事。

      很久以前,一位年老的先知让他所有的学生到各地去修行。修行结束后,这些学生都回到了先知的跟前,先知让他们说说自己修行的结果。

          一个学生说:“我现在掌握了‘在水面上行走’的功夫,怎么样,我很厉害吧?” 先知听后什么也没有说,就带着大家来到河边,叫来一艘渡船渡大家过河,大家都莫名其妙。

          过河后,先知问掌舵的人要多少钱,掌舵人说:2块钱。”这时,先知对掌握了“在水面上行走”的功夫的学生说:“年轻人,你引以为傲的新本事看起来就值2块钱。”学生顿时满脸通红,他说:“老师,我知道错了。”

          类似的哲理故事有很多,我们可以挑选一些给孩子讲,大多数孩子都很聪明、领悟力比较强,他们一听故事就会明白做人要谦卑的道理。

      要想让孩子懂得谦卑,还可以和孩子一起读名人传记。因为古今中外,大凡有成就的人,往往都比较谦卑。如孔子,他认为“三人行,必有我师”,所以终其一生都在不断地学习;

      如三国时期的刘备,他举事之初,“将不过关张,兵不及三千”,但他“三顾茅庐”请来了诸葛亮,辅助自己成就了帝王之业;

      如牛顿,他晚年还说:“在科学面前,我只是一个在岸边拣石子的小孩。”

      和孩子一起读名人传记,不仅是对孩子学习兴趣、进取精神的一种引导、鼓励,也是对孩子高尚品德的养成。

      谦卑和礼貌是密不可分的,所以,要教会孩子谦恭有礼。

      一天,小军和妈妈要去郊区看望一位亲戚,下车后发现有些迷路了,看到不远处有一位清洁工,妈妈就让小军去问问路。

      小军走过去对清洁工说:“喂,扫大街的,到x x x怎么走啊?”清洁工抬眼看了小军一眼,嘴里嘟哝着“真没礼貌”,转身走开了。

      没礼貌的孩子,连问路这种简单的事情都无法完成,可见,礼貌关系着孩子的人际交往,懂礼貌的孩子,很少和他人产生摩擦,很容易受到别人的欢迎,获得别人的帮助。

      礼貌决定着孩子的人际关系和谐与立身处世。孔子在《论语》中说:“不学礼,无以立。”他还说:“文质彬彬,然后君子。”都在强调“礼”对一个人重要性。

      虽然孔子已经去世几千年,虽然今天的社会和孔子时代有着天壤之别,然而,是否懂礼明礼,却依然是评价一个人的重要标准。

      表面上看,礼貌体现在彬彬有礼地称呼他人,是对他人说“请”、“谢谢”、“对不起”,是在他人说话时专注地倾听……

      其实,礼貌在本质上是对他人发自内心的尊重,一个尊重他人的人才能贏得尊重,才能被他人认可和接纳,也才能在做人和立身处世方面获得成功。

      如果想要孩子像一个“小绅士”,就要教孩子学礼貌。那么,什么是礼貌的行为呢?

      “礼貌”对孩子来说很抽象,所以,我们要在生活中将“礼貌”具体化。

      碰到老人时,让孩子称呼“爷爷”、“奶奶”,告诉他这是有礼貌的行为;路上遇到有人问话,告诉孩子清楚明白地回答对方的问话,这是有礼貌的行为;别人在工作、打电话时不要去打扰,这是有礼貌的行为;

      和别人沟通交流时,多使用“请”、“谢谢”等敬语,这是有礼貌的行为,孩子清楚了有礼貌的行为是怎样的,他在一定的场合中才能做出有礼貌的行为。

      在生活中,当孩子出现一些有礼貌的行为时,就要对孩子的这种正向行为进行鼓励和强化。

      如孩子外出时给老人让座,就要对他说:“你给老爷爷让座的表现很好,我们真为你高兴。”孩子受到鼓励,就会多次重复这种有礼貌的行为,久而久之,自然就会成为一个小绅士了。

      当我们在看到孩子没礼貌的表现时,第一反应就是批评、训斥他,冲他大吼大叫,强迫他有礼貌,其实,这种做法是不正确的。

      这样做不仅会伤害孩子的自尊心,还会让孩子觉得礼貌是连累他挨批评的“东西”,从而对礼貌产生反感。

      所以,当孩子在公共场合无礼时,我们可以用委婉的方法——如耳语,去制止他,回家后再告诉他其中的道理。

      有一些孩子认识不到礼貌的重要性,认为礼貌是繁文缛节,尤其是大大咧咧惯了的孩子。

      对此,我们可以让孩子体验一下他被无礼对待的感受。如家里来客人时,孩子对客人不够热情。我们就可以在去别人家做客时,提前跟主人约定,让主人冷淡孩子。

      孩子受到冷淡后,内心自然不舒服,这时我们再跟孩子强调礼貌的重要性,他的体会就会更深刻些。

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